Bruce Buffer Plays 600 FTP Sit & Gos

Let The (REAL) NFL Playoffs Begin...

Now that we have rid ourselves of the Fake Playoff Teams, we get to see the best eight teams in the league grind it out in one of the most highly anticipated NFL Playoffs we've had in a while.

Here's what you need to know about the losers from Wild Card weekend:

Tennessee Titans:

-Their offense...is offensive.

-You can "stop-the-run" all you want (and they did), but you can't win if you don't score in double digits.



Pittsburgh Steelers:

-When it came down to crunch time, they Najeh Davenpooped their pants.

-Pittsburgh deserved every bit of shit it ate right there for pathetic play calling down in a critical part of the game.

Tampa Bay Bucs:

-Great Defense In NFC South < Good Defense In NFC East.

-Jeff Garcia's Age + Joey Galloway's Age = 384



Washington Redskins:

-Offense was its usual, anemic self.

-This team needs a good long off-season after what happened with Sean Taylor (RIP).

These four teams are exactly what we thought they were. There will be NO crowning of their asses.

(If gambling were legal in America, I would have nailed that two team teaser that gave SD -3 and Seattle +3. If only...)


On to Week 2 of the playoffs where we find some formidable match-ups.

San Diego @ Indy

-The Colts open as 7.5 pt favorites.

-LDT to under 100 yards and Philip Rivers playing like Philip Rivers = Colts Victory.

Jacksonville @ New England

-The Pats open as 12.5 pt favorites, which seems a bit high.

-Vince Wilfork + Rodney Harrison > Fred Taylor + MJD?

-David Garrard isn't THAT good.

-TFB + Randy Moss + Wes Welker = 28+ points.



In the NFC....

NYG @ Dallas

-Cowboys favored by 7.5 pts.

-Injured T.O. in 2004 Super Bowl: 9 catches and 122 yards.

-Brandon Jacobs running like a pissed off wildebeast + semi-competent Eli Manning not crapping his pants > Tony Romo being watched by Jessica "Oh, Look It's Football!" Simpson + One Roy Williams Horse Collar Special.

Seattle @ Green Bay

-Packers favored by 8.5 pts.

-Hasselback > GB Defense.

-Lambeau Field > Seattle Seahawks.

-Can you really root for a team owned by this guy? Packers win on principle.

And if you're betting this weekend...tease the shit out of the underdogs.

Tell me these lines don't look good bundled together: SD +14.5, JAX +19.5, SEA +15.5, NYG +14.5

You're getting at least two TDs in EVERY game. Ride it like you stole it.

This is why Najeh Davenport was never an Astronaut:

Some Sad News...

So I wasn't named in the Mitchell Report, unfortunately. I was really hoping that I could use the 'negative press' to get my name back on the 'relevant meter.' Oh well, maybe next time!

These guys have got it made though!



P.S. The Pats beat the Steelers. No seriously, they did. They beat 'em goooood.

P.P.S. 19-0.

No Need To Watch The Game On Sunday!

We already know that the Steelers are going to beat the Pats. I think it's pretty obvious. I mean, yeah, why even watch when you have a guarantee like this?

Aw Shoot!

Picked this up today on a great new site: Real Clear Sports



"It's stilllll fun!"

Now THAT is a gunslinger, take note Brett Favre!